I woke up this morning in the middle of disjointed dreams involving an invasion of UFOs and a popular movement where everyone was giving themselves enemas to lose weight, improve health and have more energy. Like anyone else who experienced such a dream, my immediate reaction was to jump out of bed and start a political organization to promote forcing people to behave that way.

The right forces people to avoid recreational drugs, forces us to keep our clothes on in public, forces censorship of nudity in the media, forces people to pay "sin taxes" on alcohol and cigarettes and otherwise forces everyone to follow the dictates of right-wing religious morality. The key word here is force.

But where are the people doing the opposite of the right? Where are the politicians and organizations forcing people to do psychedelic drugs to gain spiritual awareness, forcing people to go around naked so they will take better care of their bodies, forcing children to view sex on TV to avoid developing sexual hang-ups, and all those other things where people are forced to do the opposite of what the right forces us to do? That's the true left when it comes to morality in political terms. The right has seen to it that the true left has no voice, but it exists as being the opposite of the right.

All those people considered to be on the left now don't want to force people to do anything, but to make up their own minds about how to live. They believe people should have personal freedom of choice. What is considered left now is actually center.

So isn't it obvious that someone has to create a political organization to represent the true left? I can always say the UFO people made me do it.

So let's start with proposing some new laws.

1) All elected representatives must appear naked in public.
2) All political leaders must take ecstasy when meeting with foreign officials.
3) Marijuana cultivation must be taught in middle school.
4) Fridays must be clothing optional days at work.
5) Parents must personally instruct their children in proper sexual techniques.
6) The pledge of allegiance in schools must be replaced by group sex.
7) Fat people must apologize loudly when paying for food.

The truth is I don't want to create a true left wing organization. I don't want to force people to do anything, and that puts me smack dab in the center, like nearly all those people mistakenly considered to be left-wing liberals now. Sure, we're liberals, because we appreciate liberty, being able to make our own, personal lifestyle choices. But we are not on the left, because we don't want to force our moral views on anyone. When it comes to morality in politics, the so-called left is actually center.